The Time Traveller

For me reading offers me two kind of escapism. The first one is diving into the book itself. I might be sitting on a bus stuck in traffic or in bed after a long day at my mundane job, but in my mind I am studying potions in the dungeons of Hogwarts or Surviving the Hunger Games. In books I have been to College in America, I have worked in a London Theatre, I've been a writer for a rock magazine, I've flown through the air on the back of magical beast and I have fallen in love over and over and over. 

But I also have a different form of escapism when I read. 

When ever I am travelling some where I like to take a new book with me. Something to help me while away the time. I spend a lot of time on trains travelling from the South East of England all the way up to Scotland, so I have plenty of time to take on an adventure. Or maybe something to read while I sit by a pool in Spain, or as I drive through Germany on my way to a Christmas market. I enjoy the journey far more when I have a book full of companions to keep me company. Then when the last page is done and the book is closed and I slot it into my book shelf and I can thank them all for the entertainment they offered. 

Then a few months later when I am low on money and want a book to read I pull one of these books down and I start to read.  Not only am I back in these fictional lands, but I am also back on that train to Scotland, or I am in Düsseldorf admiring their 10ft Christmas trees. Re-reading those words I first read doing something so exciting transports me back there. It sparks memories of those trips that had dimmed in my mind. I love it. They are like little time machines taking me back to all these great places where I met great people and have fond memories. 

My favourite, like so many readers of my generation, are my Harry Potter books. Because I have re-read these books so many times I have so many memories attached to them. I can remember my bedroom and how it was decorated. I remember sitting reading them  until the sun started poking its head above the trees after getting them at the midnight launches. I remember holding the book in one hand and making a sandwich with other because it was literally too good to put down. 

Also the first four books are paper backs. They have creased and bent over time, and when I hold the well worn covers in my hand you can see how my hands have grown over the year as the indents where my fingers grip the book have rippled out over time. Creases and folds over lapping each other as each time I re-read and fill these pages with my own stories and memories. 

When I read between the lines I am reading back my own life. The memories I book marked there for me to comes back to later. So I can relive those holidays or just sit in my childhood bed room as a twelve year old again. 

Rella 

Re-Reading Your Story So Far

During the Victorian Era books became far more affordable. With the improvements to the printing press, national literacy skills, and in general the price of making a book fell. Not only did this mean more people could get their hands on books, but also more people were writing books. To be fair there wasn't a lot to get up too, your choices were needle point, sit  in your house and hope someone drops by, or you could always die of polio writing seemed like a pretty decent pass time. 

Paperbacks became very cheap and people could either by a whole book or some books were sold a chapter at a time. In fact paper backs were so cheap that people would tear out the pages as they finished reading them and throwing them away. 

I feel myself doing this often. I finish a chapter of my life and I was to rip it out and throw it away. Sometimes because it was a difficult time, or  things haven't turned out how I wanted, other times things have all been great but for one reason or another I just find it difficult to look back on that time. 

When a boyfriend broke up with me when i was eighteen it broke my little teenage heart. Of course being eighteen I believed we were in love, the real thing that was going to go the distance and no one had ever had a love like this before. Of course like most teenage loves, surprise surprise, it didn't quite turn out like that. So I decided to start ripping this chapter apart. I changed how I looked, made my hair go from black to bleach blonde, I wore clothes I had never dared to before, changed how I did my make up and removed all traces of him from my life. I told my friends not to ask about him, hell I made sure they didn't say his name around me. A bit extreme now that I look back but I was a heartbroken teen and I wanted to pretend like that year of my life had never involved him let alone revolved around him. 

When my Grandmother died I wouldn't walk down the road her house was on. I didn't want to see a place that was once a place so full of love and family and happiness belong to a stranger who didn't know I use to love running around the bush in the front garden, and they had never attended one of the BBQ's in the back garden where my Grandmother would always rent bouncy castle for the grand children. It was difficult to look at a place where so many memories were formed and now I wasn't allowed in. I didn't want to forget my Grandmother but I preferred her house to become a dream house that exist only in my memories and the physical form doesn't exist any more to me.

Then there are friends, because I so often scrub out sections of my life. I clean out everything I don't want, and just carry forward what I am happy with means I am terrible at keeping in contact.I mean if you rip out a chapter it is hard to go back and just re-read the bits you enjoyed. I had some really close friends as a teenager, but then my Mum sold my childhood home and I no longer had a base in the place they lived it meant it was more difficult for me to stay in contact. Then when I would visit I was almost insulted that they had carried on their life with out me, they had made new friends and got on with their lives and they grew into people with these lives I hadn't been apart of. Although I still cared about them we know longer knew  other, and now when ever I see them post on-line I feel a prang of sadness for a friendship that once meant the world to me and now had faded. I find myself telling the stories of my teen years less as I slowly tear these pages from life. 

However recently things have been going pretty good for me. I have a nice flat, and I get to spend more time with my family. I am talking to my brother more, who has always been one of my favourite people, and I have a boyfriend who is caring and funny always tries to makes me feel good. A website decided my writing was good enough to let me be one of their contributors, and I have even landed a full time job. Then just the other day I was sitting in my room and something suddenly reminded me of one the places I had hated living and I stopped myself thinking about it, while telling myself " no you are trying to forget about that" and like a blinding light I thought to myself NO. 

I am not going to keep ripping pages out of my life. Everything I have been through deserves to be in my story. Things have made me unhappy and angry and sad, but the memories of my past should also be able to make me feel happy and I should be able to enjoy where I have been.

Maybe I should reach out to more people from my past and re-connect or maybe I should remove them from social media and just be happy that I got to experience them in one of my chapters, that were shared what we did when we did. Rather then watching their lives go on wishing I was still part of it. 

I am ready to start my Hardback and stop ripping apart the Paperback.

Rella 

Xx

The Bookshelf Tour

For every book lover one of the most important things you own will be your bookshelf. I have moved a lot in the past few years as I have mentioned before in previous posts, but not matter what I always make sure I have a book shelf. 

For me book shelves aren't just somewhere for books, they are a place where I also keep little trinkets, post cards photos note people have given, anything that I feel is important tends to end up on their either tucked into a book that reminds me of the person who gave it to me, or set next to some books that I feel reflect the item. When I moved I had to take all my books off take away all the trinkets and ferry them over to my new place, but I took some photos before I took it down and I wanted to take you on a little bookshelf tour.

Please forgive the terrible photos but I panicked last minute remembering that I wanted to take some photos before it all came down, so they aren't the best. but here it is my old book case. 

As you can  see it is totally jammed packed. Like many people my collection had outgrown the case and although there was some order there at some point it has very much disintegrated into a mess! But a very much loved mess. 

Now I wanted to take you few a through of my favourite bits starting at the very top

This is my collection of vintage books, I do have a couple more on the other shelves as well, but the main bulk is kept at the top. All of their books are either gifts from my Dad or I inherited from my Great Grandparents. my favourite one is Homers Iliad, third from the top as well as being a wonderful book in itself steeped in historical importance this old copy has a beautiful cover,  and it is in wonderful condition. 

My other favourite is a copy of Little Women, pictured just below The Iliad, that was passed down to my when my Great Grandparents passed away, the reason I love this book so much is because on the title page in a child's hand the name Nita is written, which was the name of my Great Grandmother, now I don't know if this was written by her, or later on by a child or grandchild but I love that it is there none the less. it give the book such meaning to me that makes me cherish it so much more. 

Another great book is Mrs Beeton All About Everything,below Little Women in the photo, which was a gift from my Dad on my 22nd Birthday, he gave it to me after we had spent the day at the Harry Potter Studio Tour. This book is fantastic as it is literally a book about how to do things like, make jam, polish shoes and also has how to treat medical ailment, and basically not matter what this issue is, part of the treatment will always involve giving the patient Gin. 

Now my bookcase was covered in little trinkets such as these, these were just little gifts given to me over the years which I liked and wanted to display, the Harry Potter Lego was a gift from someone at work, and though I love it constantly fell off my shelf, the trunk use to be filled with gold coins but every time it fell they would scatter across the floor and now only one remains. 

The little jars of spices again came from my Great Grandparents, they were something that were uncovered during the clearing of their house, and given to me, they remind me of something you might find in a potions class, or maybe a Victorians doctors cabinet. Although I never saw them in the house, I liked that they had been hidden away for all those years and felt it about time they were put on a shelf for all to see.

Now these a little puppies that I make  in my spare time. I was bought a kit by my boyfriend last Christmas, and once I masted the first one, the Pug, I was off. It is great fun and I love hand making things but don't always have the space or even the confidence to give it a go, now that I have moved space won't be an issue. But I was proud of these little creations and wanted them on display so up they went on the shelf, though towards the end I did end up with a few too many up there. 

Now you may have noticed that one of my all time favourite book series Harry Potter is missing from this self. That is because when I first moved out to uni I did't want to take all my books with me, as my room was only small and I needed space to keep my books I would need for my course, to the Potter books along with The Lord of the Rings and His Dark Materials all got packed away and lived in my Dads shed for the next five years, a decision I started to hate myself for because I often found myself wanting to go back and read them, but just simply didn't have access to them, but I now have them all back up on my shelves where they belong. 

And finally this is my over spill from my bookcase. I didn't have room to buy a new bookcase so as my collection grew it became too big for the selves and leaked out onto the floor, so they were caught up with the internet routed and always covered in dust. When I moved I did donate two bags of books, which although it is great that others will get to enjoy those books I always find it hard letting go of books. Especially as I do dream of one day having a room dedicated to the books I have collected over my lifetime, and even if I hate a book I want to keep hold of  it, so when peple see it on my shelf I can tell them what I really think of it, but I did finally let some of them go and I now have a much neater book case, though there is still an over flow issue that may still give me an excuse for a second bookcase soon much to my Boyfriends dismay

In a few months I will do a post about my new arrangements but right now I am still not happy with the lay out of it and it fill be reshuffled a few times before I am happy with in. But I hope you enjoyed this little tour of my old book case. there are so many more interesting little bits and pieces on these shelves that I just didn't have time to photograph in the mad rush to get packed away, but I am so glad I took some to look back on my collection in a few years and hopefully it would of grown some more. 

Rella Xx

Let's Get Physical

GUESS WHO'S BACK ! 

A replacement charger arrived yesterday and I am back on-line. Which is nice, but i must say being off line was not as back as you might expect. Of course when I first found my charger broken and my Laptop dead i was annoyed, more so about the fact that I would have to shell out money for a new one, then anything else. Also when you loose anything you suddenly remember the 50,000 things you needed to do on-line, like I had to email a company about stuff that didn't arrive, I needed to change my ticket for travelling to Scotland, I had to order a birthday present for my Mum and I also had a post that I wanted to put on here as I had a pretty good stride going ( that post will be up soon) 

But by that evening once I had got those things sorted I sat down with a cup of tea and my book (A Storm of Swords Part 1) and I had a pretty good night, I read a good chunk of my book and enjoyed the lack of distractions. I should also point out that I don't have a television I use my laptop for that as well. 

However one thing I did discover was, I hate doing things on screens. I have always preferred writing my notes down on paper, and I use a real life calendar to keep track of my events rather then my phone. I feel like an old woman in my generation sometimes. I will be writing a note to someone or making plans on paper and some one will always say Why not use your iPhone ? or something along the lines of  It's quicker to do that on-line. Well I don't like do that.

When I was at Uni I would use my computer just to write essays, my research my book my class notes would be around me, and I would physically turn to the page I needed or highlight the information I wanted to use. If I could avoid on-line research I would, because I feel trapped by the screen, like my brain doesn't have enough room to think within these little squares, no matter how many new tabs I open.

When creativity is limited to keys and a screen I feel claustrophobic. I like making things with my hands not just the tips of my fingers, I feel like I have something to show my hard work if I fill a note book with my work rather then a Word Document. I like it when someone hands me something they have made rather then send me a link. 

In my ideal world this wouldn't be a on-line blog, but rather a mini flyer I could send everyone. Now I know this probably sounds like I am trying to be of niche and different but truly I have tried, I once had a Kindle, because what could be better then a library in my pocket, plus carrying a few novels to Uni every day was really heavy. I used my Kindle for one month then I shut it away in a drawer. I missed being able to flick through my book and highlight passages and quickly re-read a page, I missed cover art, and that feeling when you are approaching those last few pages, I missed my book mark I missed books. I remember when I was 12 my neighbour brought over a Digital Camera, It was the first one I had ever seen, and I remember thinking, That will never work, people like hold their photos, how wrong I was, and although I love always having a camera on me, I still print out physical photos in my local Boots and put them in frames or scrap books. 

My scrap book.

I always love it when my Mum gets out her photo albums from her younger years, and she has a huge chest in her room with a lock on it and that it where she keeps all her memories, things she has collected over the years letters and trinkets and when she lets me peek inside and pull a few bits out it is so exciting, we have spent hours travelling back into her memories like that, but I share my moments on a social media page, so she always knows what I've been up to. I just really like the idea of in my old age being surrounded by things that I have created or mementos that I have collected, rather then have to log into a Facebook account aged 75. 

I love technology I really do, I just wish we didn't all have to hide behind a screen to be creative.

Rella Xx

I open at the close

Yesterday I had the utter joy of meeting up with two of my house mates from university, I hadn't hung out with both of them together in three years, and for two years I barely saw either of them so it was very exciting to meet up with them in Greenwich where we went to uni and spend a few hours pretending we were students again. 

My two house mates and their boyfriends

University was such a huge massive thing in my life, I started thinking about it at 15 as I was sitting exams in secondary school, and my three years in college was basically working towards the goal of getting into uni. I remember the night before I was due to get my A Level results which would either mean I got in or not, so clearly. I was volunteering at a Summer Camp in Somerset I was with my best friend who was also getting her results tomorrow, and I was laying in my tent unable to sleep as I jumped between feeling very very excited about going to uni and the utter dread if I didn't get is as I had absolutely no back up plan in place. In the end I told myself  "I can't change anything now,  and what ever happens I will just have to get on with it" and went to sleep ! 

At the time I didn't realise just how exciting university is while I was there, but looking back and talking with my friends about everything we got up to, you realise just how great it is and how many firsts we shared together. Moving out for the first time, cooking for the first time, going on a bus in London for the first time one of the girls had never ordered a Chinese before she moved to uni. 

That's the thing about uni house mates, yeah I had other friends who went to uni and I did make many friends at uni as well but your house mates experience everything with you, these girls saw me drunkenly stumble home, they saw me  the next day in a less then graceful state, they saw me cry over break ups, get exited about exam results, stress over essays and we have all cried with laughter together. We spent birthdays and Christmases together introduced each other to our family and friends from back home. So many experiences that you could only have because we all shared a flat.

Also it helped us all find our passion. When I first thought about going to uni I wanted to do History, for about 4 year it had it in my mind as that is what I wanted to do, I was very good at it, I really enjoyed the subject and I already knew what areas I wanted to focus on. But as college wore on there was a little flame growing that was getting brighter and brighter and by the time it came to filling out my University application there was no way I was going to pick any other subject apart from English. ( Though I must say I do still love History !)

And with my house mates I got to really dive into it. Me and one house mate, Alice, would spend hour talking in her room about Books and philosophers and essays and God, until the moon slipped away and the sun was peaking over roof tops. It was fantastic these new conversation I had never had before, all because we had be brought together by a desire to get a higher education and we all had our own specialised interests to bring to discussions. 

Going to university is like being an adult, with disposable income and freedom but no real big responsibilities expect to pass your degree, which isn't by any means easy, but when you have literally having nothing else to worry about does help. 

Meeting up with them was like re reading a much loved book, it took me right back there to that adventure we shared, forging our way together into adulthood. I could re read that book everyday and I would never get bored of it. 

Thank you girls for being such great character in the best chapters of my story so far !

Three of us at our University grounds

Rella Xx